Your Choices Define Your Life

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Daily Zen Living

Claude Monet Regnvær

Dear friends,

This morning I thought of writing in my native language again, that is Romanian, but then I thought of using English as a tool to get my message through the world.

I’ve been blessed to have readers from the US, from Australia and Europe, and so, I decided to keep on writing in a manner (and language) that is accessible to everybody. Good. That was the “administrative” part.

Now for the topic of the day, I thought of bringing up a subject related to choices. Yes, choices. You know, all the big and small decision we make every day.

I firmly believe that as we get older and wiser, we should also get comfortable with the choices we make.

From major decisions – family, career, health, relations — to small, everyday choices, each and every one of them should be in harmony with who we really are.

“Do this”, “Be that”, “Go there”, “See that”. We hear that all the time.
It seems that everyone has an opinion of some sort related to the lives of others.


We are slowly turning into experts of how others should live their life and are amateurs when it comes to our own. 

We are less and less present in our lives. We spend hours and hours of our precious time and energy, trying to determine someone else that what we know is the ultimate truth. We turn our attention from what is really important and waste it on things that have no significance.

As I mentioned in several previous posts, my happiness is my No. 1 priority. But in order to be happy, I have to be comfortable with the choices I make.

I learned this lessons the hard way, after spending years and years of trying to please everyone else but myself. I kept on neglecting my own needs and dreams, in order to make others happy.

At that time, I used to build my life around other people’s wants, needs and agendas. I thought that was the noble, loving thing to do. Well, it wasn’t, because I was always at the back of my list. I came in last and of course, my happiness got sacrificed in the process.

Nowadays, I know better. I’ve learned my lesson. I know today that we all have the right to choose.


We are entitled to run the show in our own lives and to make the best choices for our health & for our general wellbeing.

The golden rule that I employ, for example, is to be able to sleep at night with the choices I make during the day. I try to please myself as much as I can and of course, to not deliberately hurt someone else’s feelings while I do that.

On the other hand, I think it is important for us to exercise our assertiveness muscle every now and then and to tell people when they cross the line.

Whether we like to admit or not, our choices define our lives and directly influence the quality of our existence.


Our happiness depends on what we choose and why we choose it.

So, be wise, fellow Zen friend, and do what’s right for you!

Don’t ask anyone for permission to live the life you want to live. Don’t seek for approval from others & don’t jump through hoops in a failed attempt to please everyone around you.

Remember: the only person calling the shots in your life is you. And you have the right to choose whatever feels good, productive and uplifting for you.

Wishing you a Zen afternoon,
Bianca Zen 2

*Painting by Claude Monet – Regnvær, Etretat (Details)
**Source: arsantiquis

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